Little Laid Raiding Hoot

Hey,

it's the hols, so let's just put SS aside for the moment and take a breather yah? Here's a Singlish version of Little Red Riding Hood which I used for my Sec 2 English classes. They loved it, so I thought I'll post it up here for you guys.

See if you can correctly decipher the whole thing ok? Enjoy! =)


Wans a porn a time, god wan litter ger — Litter Laid Raiding Hoot. She wan 2 go 2 Grandma house, moarning oredy she go out. She god tek come wan basket 2 put flower 4 Grandma.

"Ah Ma! I cum oready, open der door leh?" she tok.

Den Grandma oso say bak, "Cum in lor, I nvr close!"

Litter Laid Raiding Hoot open der house n go inside der door.
When she go inside, she c Grandma on top of der bed. She go ask, "Ah Ma, how cum ur eye big-big wan?"
"Like dat, den I can c ur fat juicy legs mah!!!" Grandma tok bak.

"Ah Mah, how cum ur tooths is so sharp wan?"

"Den more easier 2 bite ur chubby cheeks laah!!!!"

"Ah Mah, how cum......."

"Aiyaa! So mang-nee question ah u! Wan 2 die izzit? I better faster it u! I not Ah Mah, I air-nee-mer u noe?"

"Wah! Litter Laid Raiding Hoot vary scared wan. She screem vary loud, but laid oredy ah, der air-nee-mer oredy it her!
Sar-den-lee god wan peeper — kad wood wan — go inside der house. He go kad der air-nee-mer stomach n tek out evryting, but he 2 late, Litter Laid Raiding Hoot bcum pangsai oredy......~

Dee End (… really wan!) ~


Try writing this in Standard English! =)


Comment away................