Of Growing Up and Responsibility

Aug. 3rd, 2005


Whatever made me think I was all grown-up and ready to fly out of the house? Whatever made me think that being 21 yrs of age has made me a woman all eager to venture outside?

Many people dream of being 21 when they were in their early teens, either because only then can they escape out of their parents' clutches by claiming to be an adult, or because they can finally watch an RA movie without dodging and ducking. I, too, dreamt of being 21 as soon as I possibly can. Looking at my sister grow up into a beautiful young lady working outside, giving money to my parents and buying exquisite yet costly clothes and accessories for herself, I wished upon many many stars to be able like her one day. Hoping that one day will be the next day I wake up.

Well it's finally here. Or at least it's going to be here in 2 months. 2 months. Flies by without anyone noticing. I will finally be 21. But it is not all I thought it to be. Sure, RA movies will still be for my taking, but I never read the fine print there on the of-age contract. It should be there in big bold letters: ALONG WITH FREEDOM AND ADULTHOOD COMES RESPONSIBILITY, FINANCIAL OR OTHERWISE.

I never knew that. Ok, maybe I do, but who will think about financial responsibility when you have sheltered comfort, warm beds and loving parents? I wish that I have never wished upon those little stars. Along with being an adult comes the duty of earning money, something which is not easy. Being a kid means I can always hold out my hand and money will be given to me for buying the stuff I want. But not now. No longer can I just hold out my hand. Not only do I have to earn my upkeep, I got to make sure my mom does not crack under all the financial pressure too. The burden on her is huge, no matter how much I try to take some off her, she is forever bogged down by the fact that bills are always on the pile.

What can I do? Find a job? Does tuition count? I can't possibly start any real work now like sales assistant or what-not since school is starting soon. The only way is to teach tuition. Sure, I could take up more students and be bugged by them, but I'll have to do it at the expense of my own spare time and the very limited time I could spend with loved ones and friends. Win the lottery? I have never supported gambling, though the lottery is not technically considered gambling. I think. This option is out.

What else can I do? Save, save and save. But, as much as I appreciate wholly the efforts of some friends to pass me some cash, I do not wish to take any money from them. Call me stubborn, but the value of friendship is always much more than monetary value. Money always has a way of hurting relationships, intentionally or otherwise. Thus it is up to me to hold myself up and "reach for the stars" without breaking my neck at the same time.

And guess what? I believe I can.


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