A malapropism is a a word used incorrectly in place of another, often with hilarious results. For example, in the sentence, "He is a man of great statue", "statue" is the malapropism - the correct word should be "stature".
Soooo... let's try something now shall we?
See if you can identify the malapropisms in the following letter and replace them with the correct words!
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Dear Jinny
I'm throwing a small dinner party for a few elected friends this weekend. Do say you'll come! I know you don't like to show off, but this is the perfect opportunity to suppress the other guests with your expansive brocade dress - you know, the one that makes you look so svelte and ravenous.
I've invited three other couples and two 'singletons'. Perhaps the two will hit it off - Dan is a very illegible bachelor; he's a very nice fellow and runs his own design firm. The lady, Sok Chin, is a marvellous cook and a great conversationist - she can talk about anything under the sun and put you at your ease at once. I'm hoping she'll draw out the Tans who are quite a shy couple. They were at this party where the guests were quite a raucous bunch - much to the Tans' constipation. Oh yes, I've invited Nigel - he's always got a store of amusing antidotes. Must remember to bring the two dogs over to Mum's place though - Nigel's wife is putrefied of canines.
The last couple are the Lims. As you know, they live in an effluent neighbourhood and Mr Lim talks about nothing but making money - he's always trying to make me infest in some unit trust or other. His wife is quite an auspicious woman, always giving unwanted advice. But despite all that, they mean no harm and are really quite a kind and helpful couple.
Just call me to confirm you'll be coming - don't bother to email me back. I hope you don't mind me saying that it's rather painful to read your e-mails - your spelling is quite abdominal, you know!
Cheers
Soo Chen
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